.:Transition Times:.

Times where you have to start taking important decisions and being more responsible, some may call it growing up are quite harsh on my life at the moment.

Suddenly I see my self in the hideous queue to pay the bills, consulting the doctor and getting analyses done, shopping for groceries by myself to feed our refrigerator, attending parent meetings ‘cause mom ain’t at home, and etc etc; parts of life that will eventually come easily to me because that’s what getting older implies, becoming more responsible and independent.

But then I see I’m only 16 and I’m taking care of many things besides keeping up with school work, and my mind is going bezerk because there’s so much information and concern in it that it’s screaming that’s enough! But it doesn’t end there, emotions appear out of the blue and hey I just let go of the leash; life take what ever path you find ‘cause I ain’t living you.

In one week, 2 deaths; one that hit an unknown feeling in me showing how I don’t even know my self; plus pulling a muscle by doing the most stupid movement ever, being unable to do any physical activity for three weeks, just when I’m head over hills with working out, give me a break!

So hell, I’m physically and emotionally broken and with no support from any side, what could I do? Sit and be sad. But thinking became a much more recurrent activity, what do I want? What am I doing? I want to grow up but my childish side pulls me back, it was so confusing! So what best than to rebel, just go living life as if nothing mattered. But deep down I was screaming for limitations and someone to put things straight.

So then, and finally, mom (I hadn’t seen her in more than a month) came back together with my dad (hadn’t seen him for three months) as a surprise, and at last I tied loose ends (look back into tear heal), got grip of the leash and pulled a stop to the rebellion.

Through this I want to point out how transition times in life are very hard, but though they may bring us right down and glue us to the pavement, there’s always a change of winds and things just fit in its place and get back on track. Now I’ve recovered from wavy and shaky grounds, and I’ve gotten my laughter back, and I have a hint on how to deal with things the next time. Life is full of ups and downs that we must learn to recover from, otherwise things would be just too easy and cheesy.

.:Tear Heal:.

It was one of those days where you wish you were Snow White, just to sleep and sleep and not be distressed by what’s going on outside the glass box.

Somehow I had brought the problems upon myself; somehow I needed to process and think what was going on in my life. I wanted to feel sad, angry and melancholic; deep down inside I desired those cold water drops, hidden in the very bottom of my essence, to run down my face just to get me thinking straight, just to put my cheer back in place.

I, as an observer, got my feet back on the ground when I heard the tear drops crush into my green bed cover; such a beautiful sound; how wonderful the feeling of feeling and manifesting it through a drop of what is essential in our lives. Water, so clear and pure, healing and refreshing, how it gets the dust and sight of being buried far down out, and brings light back into our eyes as soon as they start their trip down through the flesh of our bones and off our prominent and particular features.

In the end I wake up from the so called fairy tale, and take a deep breath that seems as the first, giving me the strength to stand up for my self and confront the outer and inner issues that scared me at first. And as soon as my head makes contact with the soft feathers of my pillow, the sky clears. And before I know it, I’m awake to a new and fresh day, to give the world another chance.